(Written in 2004)
I think a lot of us have at one time or another asked, “Why me????” I have an answer of sorts. Well, a reply, in any case. You might not like it. But that’s okay with me, as long as *I* don’t have to hear you whine.
First of all, just don’t. And not just because nobody wants to hear it. Don’t do it because it is incredibly useless. You’re wasting your time and the time of anyone within earshot. You’re wasting oxygen for cripes sakes. It is about a million times more useful to find out what can be done about your problem than to ask why it happened to you. While you’re at it, don’t even bother trying to assign blame. Maybe it is someone else’s fault. It doesn’t matter. No matter whose fault it is, at the end of the day you still have a problem that needs your attention. Assigning blame is another tremendous waste of time and energy.
Secondly, no matter what it might look like, you wouldn’t want to trade your problems for anyone else’s. Just remember that everything is relative. What is a light burden to you might be the final straw for someone else and vice versa.
My third point reflects my spiritual beliefs and as such you may disregard it. In fact, go ahead and disregard anything you like. Anyway, this belief is that we are made up of the sum of our experiences. Our selves are recreated every moment. Take away any day, any moment and we are somebody else. I don’t know about you, but contemplating such a change sends me into fits of existential angst. I just don’t go there.
My final point is perhaps the hardest hitting. If not you, then who? Your worst enemy? Your best friend? Your parent? Your child?
So buck up. Worry about causes only to the extent that it might help you avoid the situation in the future. Face the facts and find a way to deal with them. Maybe you need help with that: then get it! Be grateful your problems are yours rather being inflicted on someone you love and be grateful that you only have to play the cards you are dealt rather than somebody else’s cards.